Why Being a Feminine Lady Is Better Than Being a Tired Superwoman
When we talk about femininity, we envision a female who is glamorous and girly, which many busy moms find difficult to achieve in their hectic lives. We also believe that being feminine is unimportant to a woman's well-being in today's society, and that it may be more problematic than beneficial for her.
However, femininity is determined more by how you act than how you look.
It is not about being prettier, slimmer, or cuter than another woman, but simply about being a woman who enjoys being a woman. It's a female who has discovered that being feminine yields better results than being the tired-tough-girl. The feminine woman has mastered the fine art of having her husband eat out of the palm of her hand in a good way, not in a manipulative manner.
I'm sure your curiosity has been piqued.
When women today are told to act more feminine or to please their husbands, they become upset, defensive, and even mocking. I often wonder why it has become such a big deal. Why are women ashamed to be feminine, and why is wanting to please our husbands not a virtue?
Do we believe that being feminine or pleasing our spouse makes us weak, that we can't do certain things, that men will mistreat us, or that society will think less of us? Perhaps we are afraid of what our family and friends will say or if they will think we are oppressed.
If you're wondering any of these things, it means you're not understanding your needs as a woman or what it means to be a truly feminine lady, and if your friends judge you, they're not your real friends.
You see, men love femininity just as women love masculinity because Allah SWT created us this way. It's like the Ying and Yang effect and how opposites attract, because honestly, which wife doesn't want her husband to adore and be pleased with her? Being feminine brings out a male’s protective nature, and when you have that, you have a husband who’ll move mountains for you!
A wife should take note of the results versus the misinformation.
Look at the wives around you who complain about their husbands and kids. Do you regard these women as feminine by nature? Hear how dissatisfied they sound about their marriage, life, and children. They come across as aggressive and resentful, always the one in control, and are the lonely superwomen.
Now think of the wives who don’t talk bad about their husbands (sadly they are few and far between), notice how they come across. Do they seem more feminine by nature? Instead of complaining about their husbands and kids, they are grateful, forgiving, and content because they aren't overburdened by being superwomen. Some of them even like being homemakers and actually enjoy their kids because they have balance and the support of their spouse.
See the correlation?
Yes, feminine women might not be feminists’ favorite people, because they see relinquishing control and relying on a man as a sign of weakness (though some of them may secretly admire it). Though without a doubt, a feminine woman will be her husband's favorite person, and be admired by the men in her life too, like her father, brothers, sons etc. This woman knows how to be strong and feel empowered without being disrespectful and dissatisfied.
More importantly, femininity is not only for your husband, it's beneficial for you as a wife too! When you relinquish control and stop being superwoman by handing the reins back to your husband, you get treated like the queen you are, and the special lady of the house - you have to try it to believe it!
Superwoman is not a pretty sight.
When a mom is trying to stay healthy, look good, juggle a career, study, raise amazing kids, please her extended family and friends, have a beautifully decorated house, keep her kids in order, her home tidy and clean, volunteer in the community, keep up with her religion, and along the way fit in some of her husband's needs (aka superwoman), it not only sounds exhausting, it's impossible to do it all well!
So why is a feminine woman smarter than a superwoman?
When you really think about it, it's not being feminine that's difficult, it's that a superwoman has too much on her plate that she deems important, but may not necessarily be important. Being feminine will help you become less stressed out, because it stems from an innate place inside of you.
It's the core of being a woman, and it will not only lower your cortisol (the stress hormone) and your testosterone (your male hormone) levels, but it incites your husband's biological nature to want to protect and provide for you, so he'll help you out way more! (Watch the related video below to learn more about this)
Don't believe me? Well, I was superwoman and now I'm not and what a relief it's been!
When you place your needs first, the needs of your husband and kids next, and the needs of the rest of your circle last - that's being balanced and your femininity soars. Add to that, making yourself a priority and losing the victim mentality and see how much less bogged-down you feel in your life!
Being feminine is so much easier than being superwoman.
Also, I don't know about you, but when I think of a super-heroin, I envision a woman cool as a cucumber and confident to boot. Sadly, that's not what I see in the super-women around me. The ones I've met are never carefree and happy, and even though other women admire their various efforts, they’re not the ones you necessarily want to emulate.
Most times, I feel sorry when I see a superwoman, because many of them don't know any better, others had to toughen-up to cope, and some become complaining nags to their family and friends. Ask yourself this question, “Is the price worth the tagline of being known as the woman who can "do-it-all" or by knowing you're pleasing the feminists? Or would you rather gain your husband's admiration, assistance, and love by being feminine and allowing him to save your day?”
It is a choice buthardly a tough decision to make.
As we are very aware, Allah Created men in a certain way and He Created women in another way. If we were meant to behave and act the same, our Creator would have made us biologically similar. If we do not accept that our differences are by His Design and for a necessary purpose, it means that we are questioning our Lord's Decree - and thatcan not only be a form of arrogance but brings into question, “How God-fearing are we behaving?”
Let’s Make Dua
May Allah SWT accept all our efforts as women, wives, and mothers and grant us Jannatul Firdous for our sacrifices. May our intentions always remain pure and just, and align with righteousness and the women of praradise, ameen.
I follow Dr. John Gray who has been explaining for over two decades the differences between the genders as well as how we bring out the best in one another when we stay in our lanes. You can watch a sample of one of his videos below. I hope you enjoyed this post and always love to hear your comments and thoughts. :)
I did not know many of these tips when I got married, and it caused lots of issues and problems in my marriage. Alhumdulillah, my eyes were opened as I learned more about the male psyche and my role as a wife in Islam.
That’s why I offer Wife Coaching especially to help women find contentment in their marriages. You can book a free discovery call with me to find out how my coaching for wives can work in your favor and see if it’s right for you.
Love these tips? Then Pre-order my upcoming book!
Salam, I’m Zakeeya!
I believe that making our homes a safe haven for our families, as well as being a wife and mother, brings us great blessings, contentment, and benefits to society as a whole. Since 2011, I've been dedicated to assisting Muslimas in finding tranquility in their roles, taking better care of themselves, and achieving inner peace. Our journey in this world is not an easy one, but I pray the tools and guidance I offer will help you face life's challenges with more gratitude and mindfulness. Join me as I share wifehood, motherhood, homemaking, and lifestyle solutions that make life more fulfilling for you as a woman! Read more about me here.
