How to Remove Your Self-Doubt About Anything

Muslima 2

Mar 14

I’m going to share a beautiful way to deal with self-doubt. I wasn’t someone who had much self-doubt before, but becoming a parent, dealing with difficult people, and going through challenging experiences does something to you. It makes you more cautious and sometimes, more cynical.

In the past, I would accomplish tasks faster than I do now, so I knew that self-doubt was affecting my usual output. I had to ask myself, “Where was this coming from? Was it wisdom that kept me from making reckless decisions? Or was it holding me back and stunting my growth?”

The only way to find out was to sit down and honestly analyze myself. That process led to a few revelations, and I learned some hard truths. I felt like there was a litany of questions hovering in my mind, such as, “What should I really be doing as a Muslima? Will Allah SWT be pleased with what I’m doing?”

Why We Struggle with Self-Doubt

There’s this thin line between our intentions and our ego. Sometimes, we begin something with a good purpose, but afterward, our ego sneaks in. I often find it difficult to decipher whether my intentions are still as pure as when I started or if now I’m stoking my ego.

That’s where self-doubt creeps in. When you begin analyzing why you are doing something, doubt invades your thoughts. And in that moment, you either overcome it or you let it consume you.

I once heard a guru mention some great tips on avoiding doubt. She said, “Don’t overthink whether you should do something. If you have an idea, just go with it.”

That advice helped me for a while, because it motivated me to start. But after some time, I realized that something was missing. That approach pushed me to act, but it didn’t address the real root of my self-doubt, which was, “Am I doing the right thing?”

The Real Cure: Istikhara

Eventually, I realized that I had the answer all along. Allah SWT had given us a gift that I had overlooked—istikhara.

Now, I’m not sure how much you know about istikhara. If you don’t, you can read my full article HERE for more details, but in this article, I will share how it has helped me overcome my self-doubt.

Growing up, I mistakenly assumed istikhara was a salah you only perform when deciding who to marry. Looking back, that assumption feels pretty embarrassing. Later, I learned a little more and thought it was only for major decisions. So I hardly implemented it in my life unless it was something major that my husband and I had to decide for our kids and our home.

Alhamdulillah, when I finally researched it properly for my article, I was astounded, and I felt robbed. Istikhara is the perfect antidote to self-doubt, and I had missed out on using it for years. If only I had known, I would have turned to it far more often and gained faster answers!

The beauty of it is that no matter what path you choose, when you make istikhara, you can move forward with peace knowing that you’ve sought Allah’s guidance—and who wouldn’t want that?

What Surprised Me Most

One of the most eye-opening things I discovered was that you can make the istikhara dua without praying the two raka‘at of nafl salah. Of course, praying is best, but the dua itself can be said on its own when needed.

Another thing I didn’t know was that we can say the istikhara dua in our language of choice. SubhanAllah, that makes it so much more simple, and it can be said at any time you need guidance and protection from Allah SWT, which let’s be honest, is pretty often!

To give you an example, before I wrote this very post, I said the istikhara dua, just in case. Even though I didn’t doubt that I should write it, I wanted to know for sure if Allah SWT wanted me to do it and that the way I shared it would be beneficial and not harmful.

The fact that nothing stopped me from writing and publishing this post was a green light from my Lord. That alone makes your heart feel at ease.

The Dua of Istikhara

Here is the beautiful istikhara dua in English. I try to say it before making any decisions—big, medium, or small. Sometimes I do forget, but I’m working on instilling it as a natural habit.

“O Allah, verily I seek the better [of either choice] from You, by Your knowledge, and I seek ability from You, by Your power, and I ask You from Your immense bounty. For indeed You have power, and I am powerless; You have knowledge, and I know not; You are the Knower of the unseen realms. O Allah, if You know that this matter is good for me with regard to my religion, my livelihood, and the end of my affair, then decree it for me, facilitate it for me, and grant me blessing in it. And if You know that this matter is bad for me with regard to my religion, my livelihood, and the end of my affair, then turn it away from me and me from it; and decree for me better than it, wherever it may be, and make me content with it.”

Just reading these words reminds me how much we rely on Allah SWT. It’s so calming, so reassuring, and it really does melt away that nagging self-doubt. You can find the Arabic and transliteration of the istikhara dua, with a free printable HERE.

How to Keep it Handy

The easiest way to say the istikhara dua often is to memorize it. The more you say it, the sooner it becomes second nature. But if memorizing feels overwhelming at first, you can:

Read it from a dua app on your phone. I love the app Dhikr and Dua by Life With Allah.
Read it from a physical dua book and bookmark the page.
Screenshot the dua and keep it in your photo library under favorites.
Write it in your journal or personal dua book often.
Text the dua to yourself and pin it.

That way, it’s always within reach. I’ve also heard scholars mention that if you’re in a situation where you can’t remember the exact words, you can make a similar dua in your own words, asking Allah SWT for His guidance.

Of course, the best way to perform istikhara is the way the Prophet SAW did. He prayed two raka‘at nafl and then said the authentic dua afterward. The point of this article is not to let the perfect method stop you from making istikhara and turning to Allah SWT.

A Habit That Changes Everything

So how do we fully remove our self-doubt?

First, pause and analyze where it’s coming from.
Second, weigh the pros and cons of what you’re about to do.
Then make istikhara.
If you still feel uncertain, repeat the istikhara.

You can do this multiple times until the answer becomes clear. Sometimes clarity comes from the ease of moving forward, and sometimes it comes from the doors closing and you realizing it’s not meant for you.

You can also seek advice from people you trust and respect, but always return to istikhara first. Because even when we think we know, Allah SWT knows best.

Even if you don’t have self-doubt about a matter, it’s still worth making istikhara. You just never know! There may be hidden issues that we cannot see, but Allah knows, and He can prevent us from going through them. That’s the beauty of this miraculous gift of the prayer of need.

Passing it On

I know for many of us, it’s not that we don’t want to use these treasures in Islam; it’s simply that we forget or we never learned about them. Maybe our parents or teachers didn’t emphasize it or use it themselves, and this is why I share it with my children and encourage them to use it in their own lives.

When you make istikhara a habit, your life becomes lighter. You don’t get stuck in that cycle of anxiety, stress, doubt, and worry. You move forward with sakina (tranquility), knowing that you’ve placed your decision in Allah’s hands and He will help you decide what’s best.

Alhamdulillah, we had the cure for self-doubt all along and just needed a reminder!

TIP THE AUTHOR

Salaam, I’m Zakeeya

I believe our homes are meant to be havens of sakina—places where families feel safe, nurtured, and loved. Since 2011, I’ve been dedicated to helping Muslim women find tranquility in their roles, care for themselves with dignity, and achieve inner peace. Drawing on my years of experience as a wife, mother, and mentor, I share tools and guidance to help you face life’s challenges with more gratitude and mindfulness. Here, you’ll find Muslima, wifehood, motherhood, and lifestyle insights to make your journey as a woman more fulfilling, inshallah. Read more about me here.